This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
