There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
