if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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