Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
