he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
