get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
