Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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