i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
