Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize