Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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