ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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