I skipped work to stalk him.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
