Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
