i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Green mimosas i think yes
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
