you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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