Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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