STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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