I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
