I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
