I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
