I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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