Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize