Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
