A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
i now understand why vodka
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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