brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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