i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
