i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
