im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize