we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
