First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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