Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
