I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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