Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Do vagina's smell?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Holy shit dude........stairs
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
