Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
