i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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