Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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