i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
only you would photoshop your dick
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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