If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
