She's JV to your varsity
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
