Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
