he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
PANTIES FOUND
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
