dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize