Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
