We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
