my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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