when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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