it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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