Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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