I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
