Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize