shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
