We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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