Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
