I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
