I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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