She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
