wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
