Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
