Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
