I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
