This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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